Many of you know what I'm talking about when I say that this little stick has the ability to bring joy or cause pain. How is it such a small thing can have such a huge emotional effect on us women? As all of you know, Jaren and have been trying for about 6 years now to get pregnant. We both have been tested and everything is in working condition but it just hasn't happened. This last month was the first time I actually tried a fertility drug called clomid.
Before moving on I want to express that I am not posting about this to try and get sympathy from anyone or complain about how bad I have it because that is not the case. I have a body that has the ability to get pregnant which I am grateful for and a loving husband as well as support from family and friends. This is more of an expression of bitter feelings toward the pregnancy test at this current moment. Hopefully that will change in the near future.
Moving past lots of boring details...I took a pregnancy test last Saturday. It was about 4:00 in the morning when I woke up really needing to use the restroom. I could have waited for a decent hour but these tests work best in the morning when you're urine is more concentrated. I had been unsure on whether or not to try a test because it was still a bit early to be really "late" in my cycle. I rolled over to Jaren and asked if he thought I should and he said to go ahead and take one. I followed all of the instructions and waited while that little timer flashed at me. Then it happened. A big, glaring "Not Pregnant" stared at me. Anger and sorrow washed over me. "Stupid Pee Stick!" I thought. I threw it in the garbage and went back to our room. As soon as I got back in bed Jaren's eyes popped open to gauge my reaction to the test and he knew instantly. My sweet husband pulled me in and cuddled me while I cried for the first time after taking a pregnancy test.
I know eventually we'll get our chance to be parents and bring sweet babies into this world. Heavenly Father has his timing and right now it just must not be our time. We certainly haven't lost hope. We'll try again but in the mean time...
I'm MAD at you pregnancy test!! I don't care if it's not your fault!
9 comments:
I am so sorry. I can't even take tests anymore because it hurts to see "not pregnant" I always feel mad at the test too. Like it had the power to decide my future. Good luck. I really hope you are pregnant soon.
Don't give up if you felt it might have been too early. For Both Eli and this little gal, I took a pregnancy test too early and then another two weeks later and voila! Then again, there was a time when I felt nauseous from a video game I was playing and thought it was morning sickness :) That WAS disappointing to have THREE tests come out negative... funny when I realized what was actually causing my nausea, though.
Hey, this is Jenni, lori's little sister.
Oh, the stupid pee sticks. I've been very lucky that we've gotten pregnant pretty easily (despite some concerns from my teenage years about my ability- Iw as diagnosed as PCOS there for a bit), and even then I have spent many MANY hours agonizing over stupid pregnancy tests. At least it was a digital test so you didn't spend hours analyzing the existence of a barely-there-maybe-not line. When you want something so badly you can see lines on pretty much anything.
I hope you have a positive test somewhere in your near future!
Oh pregnancy tests DO suck! Getting a negative even if you aren't trying to get pregnant is always kind of a blow to the self-esteem. And if it makes you feel any better at all, I have gotten 2-3 false negatives with each of my pregnancies before I could get positives. I cant get positives until practically the day before my period. I recommend getting these strips from amazon. They are super cheap, very sensitive and accurate, and they are a great way to try in a cheap way before using a clearblue or more expensive test to confirm.
http://www.amazon.com/Wondfo-Pregnancy-Test-Strips-25-count/dp/B0002YIQEQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1314043523&sr=8-1
If anyone is destined to be a mother, it is YOU! You will be amazing and I know it will happen for you. I'm sorry it has taken so long to happen for you and I wish you luck in the immediate future! I will always heart you tons emily. You're in our prayers!
We have alot of fertility problems in our ward but seeing miracles happen for couples I can tell you there is hope. Also I find it better to get mad at inanimate objects, they can't argue with you.
It will all worl out! And you will be the cutest mom one day, oh and I had a not pregnant test with Tayton. Just wait until a week after you are suppost to be "late" wishing you guys the best and good luck, we love you!
I love you. I'm so sorry! You guy are incredible and amazing and just freaken FANTASTIC! Stupid prego test!
My brother and sister-in-law have gone through similar things (except that they do have a medical reason for it), and those darn pregnancy tests are the WORST. I agree with the previous comment--it's good to be able to get mad at an inanimate object.
I hope it will read the RIGHT way for you soon. Good luck. <3
Hang in there. We will be praying for you guys to have little glovers running around soon!
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